They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Alive.
So much puke
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I just gargled with NyQuil
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
