i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
