You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
where does the pee come out of this thing
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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