You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
