I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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