its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
