I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
