Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
