I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
