just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Your cock deserves a montage
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Randomize
