great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
