I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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