i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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