Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
ugly people sure do ruin things
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
