Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
