thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
she peed on how many people?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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