Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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