I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
