I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
