omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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