I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Randomize
