FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
