What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
people are starting to question the shark bite story
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
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