Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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