Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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