Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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