yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
