I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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