why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
