Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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