Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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