Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
