Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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