I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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