Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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