Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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