i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
