we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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