We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
