My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
i believe in u and ur pee
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