The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
