imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Randomize
