i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
