but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
