The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize