I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
