: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
