Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize
