I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
