i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Randomize
