I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
