is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
